15.09.05

The IKEA experience - a special guest posting

Posted in Canada at 10:39 am by AB

The following is an inaccurate account of my shopping experience as narrated by some Canadian.

AB…

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IKEA Nationals, 2005

Operation: ANB (Aaron Needs a Bed)

It all started as we left Kits at 5:30pm heading into Richmond to find the closest IKEA, which, oddly/ironically/wierdly enough, is on Sweden Way… Aaron couldnt have picked a better time to leave as we were escorted by everyone else trying to get out of the city, thru the guts (Granville), which was more or less like a parking lot. A solid 40 minutes later and we are ready to go! WOOO!

*Aaron up at Ikea Entrance*

Aaron’s Ikea shopping list:
YSTENVOOG
STRAAMER

which, in loose swedish translation is: bed and frame.. its Go Time..

The start of Ikea provides all the necessities: a tape measure, a map, and a pencil with a wish list tobe filled out. When all they really need is someone to tell you no, you dont need that, put it back, its cool - but its not that cool.. and everyone else and their dog has it. If only…

Aaron was a big fan of the tape measure (ooh, numbers on plastic…) and although he hadnt taken any measurements from his new home, it didnt stop him from getting in there and trying to look like he knew what he was doing..

*aaron measuring bed*

Hmm.. just a smidge to wide… yes.. that so wont work… A big fan of the Bunk Beds, but not of the price, Aaron had a bit of a sulking session..

*aaron sulking*

We moved on to bigger and better things, like this note on one of the floor-room toilets… in case anyone wasnt sure… I just hope that there were no previous incidents which then required them to put this note here to ward off future events… Johnny Knoxville anyone?

*toilet sign*

But back to the beds… Too soft? Too hard? Too short? Only one way to tell.. time for Aaron to give the test drive. He definitely got comfy and gave all the beds.. all of them.. every single one… a solid try.. each try consisting of three sleeping configurations, my personal favorite being the Passed Out Starfish as demonstrated here (note he is still wearing the measuring tape):

*aaron in bed*

It seemed that Aaron’s favorite by far was the circular bed with the girlie netting. I think he was there for a solid hour.. and he kept making these odd “meow” noises… people were looking at me in a “Does your friend need help” kind of way…

*circular bed*

At a close second was the motorized unit. I’m sure that if the price been right Aaron would have chosen this bed. Mmmmm…remote… must have remote… mmm buttons… whats with guys and remotes anyways? “It goes up, It goes down”.. good job Aaron. You get a cookie.

*bed goes up*

After all that hard work, rest was definitely in order. Aaron seemed quite at home in this set up, and Im sure passerby-ers were hoping that the bloke was included in the $597 - “He just looks so natural there, can we take him home? He would go great by the harth” etc etc..

*aaron in kitchen*

Once Aaron had decided on a bed and frame, it was off to the bedding department and then to the warehouse to pick up the goods! We found a trolley, picked up some things along the way and..No! it cant be?!! The bed Aaron was pulling for was OOS (out of stock) which made Aaron SOL. Bring on the dilemas. So I sat in the warehouse as Aaron paced, hummed, hawed, itched, did some more humming.. and finaly decided against getting another bed, and to just wing it, as something was sure to come up. Yes, thats right folks, Operation: ANB failed miserably… dun dun dun dunnnnn… However (can you sense the big turning point?) it all worked out well in the end as his room’s predecessor was looking to get rid of her bed… et voila!

And not being a total loss, Aaron was keen on getting a solid start to his room and managed to pick up a clothes hamper, a shelving unit, a duvet (quilt) and pillows.

And I’m now convinced that the only way to shop Ikea is with an entertaining Australian.

*The End*

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